robowest | [ DEPARTURE ]

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game: end

[ DEPARTURE ]

DEPARTURE

It's time to go.

Most people are on the train by now. Settled into their cabins and among friends and loved ones. There are only three new arrivals left to board and once they do, Hal pulls a conductor's hat out from underneath the bar, tugs it on, and steps around it to the middle of the train. He opens his mouth to talk, voice filling the train.

"It's time to go. Stops happen once a day until everyone's departed and I already have your stopped listed. If you'd like to be prioritized, let me know, otherwise we'll go in order of death. Settle in and enjoy the ride. If there's anything you need, don't hesitate to ask, folks."

This, of course, means that those who died earliest (Manfred, Higekiri) will depart first while those who died latest (Barnham, Damian, Percy) will depart last. There's a stop for everyone, though those who want to get off together are more than welcome to. Hal pulls a notepad and pen out of his pocket later and people will notice that he goes around the train confirming stops with everyone. Whatever feeling Hal may have had to a character back in town isn't noticeable here -- he is simply a robot assigned with a job.

After that, it's all a matter of settling in and enjoying the ride. If that's possible for you, at least.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I think we all got really fucked over but...Hal told me that he had a feeling I was going to be the one to win this game. I don't know how long he's felt like that. I don't know if I want to know. I was really, really hoping for once maybe it wouldn't come down to me.

I don't regret keeping my memories. I really don't. But the added nightmare fuel wasn't necessary. [...] It's just...weird? Everything about what happened is weird. When did it become almost normal to kill five people?

Yeah, all of us did, but I'm talking about you. [She sighs.] I asked him once if he knew how the game was going to end, and he said yes. So... A while.

[There's a quick shake of her head.]

None of this was normal, but it wasn't your fault, either.

So he was pretty much mocking me the whole time. Great. Awesome.

[He looks at the ceiling instead.] What if...I don't know. I don't want to become like them. [Them, of course, being people like Hannibal, Will, Nui or Ash. People that're vicious and cruel. They had reasons, he's sure. He's having trouble distinguishing between the two.] It's a weird place to be. The two things I never thought would happen to me happened in the span of eight weeks and now I'll never forget them. [...and he buries his head in his hands.] What the fuck am I supposed to tell my mom?

[She can guess who he's talking about, and her answer comes immediately and firmly.]

You're nothing like them, seriously. You aren't.

[There's no doubt in her mind as to that. The next part, though, is a bit harder to answer.]

...As much or as little as you want to. It's up to you.

[He's just going to be talking into his palms a little, excuse him.]

See, I know that. Like I definitely know that? But I know she's going to worry and there's seriously no easy way to be like "hey Mom, sorry I disappeared for almost a whole year, I got trapped in a game where I murdered five strangers and shot myself and Annabeth was burned alive, but we kicked Gaea's ass after we escaped the Underworld. What's for dinner?"

And that's if we beat Gaea. Which we will. She'll be easy after this. [Ughhhh.] She won't ask where you guys came from at least. That'll be up to me.

Then tell her you can't talk about it yet. From what you've told me... She'll understand, yeah? And you'll have long enough to find the right words.

Yeah, you will. I know you will. [A pause.] If you want me to tell her what happened, where we came from... I can do that, you know.

My mom tends to understand everything, but that probably comes from the fact she met my dad. After living in real-life mythology you kind of start accepting things. [But even so. This is still about taking someone else's life. Is he ashamed of himself? Yes. Does he regret it? Not entirely. It's what needed to happen to end the game. But it's a mixture of emotions here he doesn't bother unraveling.]

...I wouldn't ask you to do that. [He raises an eyebrow.] This is supposed to be a better start for you, remember? Don't spoil it just because I'm being a coward. I'm sure it'll be fine. Besides, you're going to have your hands full with Jason and Xion anyway.

I know you wouldn't ask me to, but I'm offering anyways.

[She rolls her eyes.]

It wouldn't spoil it, and you're not being a coward. But I won't tell her if you don't want me to.

[There's a pause before he moves to lay on his back and stare at the ceiling, feet firmly planted on the floor. They've been in this position before.]

Humor me a bit. What would you even say to her?

...I didn't really think that far ahead.

[She gives a half amused noise despite herself.]

I can think something up, though. Just give me a minute.

[At least there's a real laugh, quiet and short though it may be.]

You're going to fit right in. I never think that far ahead. [He rolls his head to look toward her.] If you don't come up with something, then start thinking about the fall. Are you guys bothering with school? Or is it permanently summer?

[And if it's the latter, maybe take him with you.]

I don't know about the others, but I'm bothering with school. I didn't work my ass off for the last four years to not get into Yale. [A pause.] I can probably forge a transcript. I'm sure it's fine.

[After that, she pauses for a few more moments.]

...Maybe I'd just tell her the truth. No lie could sound as weird, right?

Of course you're shooting for an Ivy League school. Why did I think otherwise? [He sounds oddly proud though. Go Natalie go.] I have a few people I can call in favors to if I play my cards right. We'll figure it out.

[...there's a sad sigh following.] You're right. She'd be worried, but it'd make the most sense.

Duh. It's only of the best music programs in the country.

[There's a small smile talking about it, but. She notices that sigh, and...]

If I did tell her the truth, it would still be up to you how much of the truth she gets.

I never knew. [The piano. A classic pianist. It's what he thinks of and without meaning to his eyes slide toward her hands and he finds himself being glad she has two again.]

But I know that's still my choice. [He licks his lips nervously.] I...don't like lying to her. But I don't like worrying her either. Probably why I'm not sure.

Yeah. I think the only other person I told was... You know.

[Thanks, polite vore dad!! Either way, she follows his gaze, curling and uncurling her fingers almost unconsciously. She's glad, too.]

Well, whatever you pick, we're behind you one hundred percent.

I know you are. [It's a firm agreement.] Not sure if you guys know what that means to me, but I know.

[It's something else when she mentions polite vore dad is the only other person to know things and it allows him to pause. If anyone would understand the weird situation with Will and Hannibal, it'd be Natalie.]

...it was way too easy to tell him a lot about ourselves, wasn't it? I'm not sure what that says about him or what it says about us. But on the other hand, I know I would have snapped even further if I didn't talk to him. [A pause.] I should have told you about them. But I was hoping that I could solve everything. It was before I knew you were chosen by Hal for that week. But even knowing everything... [He stops, frowning again.]

Tell me I'm fucked up for not being as angry as I should be.

He was the first person I told about... a lot of things. [She breathes out a sigh, running a hand through her hair.] It's not your fault. I figured it out eventually.

[A smile, a little bitter, but that bitterness isn't directed at him.]

I think I'm angry enough for the both of us. [But—] I guess it depends why you aren't.

[There's another lingering pause as he pops his knuckles a bit, idly staring up at the ceiling and his own hands that're now hovering above his face.]

Don't get me wrong, I'm still pretty pissed. Like majorly pissed. I don't care what the excuse was and what Will said, there was still no reason for doing this the way he did. But…I don't know. They were both right about a lot of things. Will told me I was going to be the winner. And…they kept a lot of secrets for me and advised me a lot in how to stay alive here. Dr. Lecter gave me information when he didn't have to. He's the one who told me what the roles do, that's how we started making the progress we did. There are so many things they didn't have to do, but they did. I hate admitting it sometimes but they gave me what I needed to end the game. Even though Dr. Lecter put Annabeth in the stocks just to see what would happen.

["To me" goes unsaid, if only because he knows Natalie will fill in the blanks.] One of them thought I'd crumble. One of them thought I'd succeed. I'm pretty tired of people betting on me. But with Will…their relationship's really, really messed up. I don't feel sorry for him because that's not the right word, but I've seen it happen before.

…did I ever tell you about Gabe? My first stepdad.

[She listens to all of that, and it makes sense, but—]

Doesn't that make it worse, in a way? Everything they did for us. They made sure we would trust them. Even if they told you things that ended up being helpful, they're not... I don't know. I don't know if I can think about it the way you do.

[Everything that happened is still too close, too immediate and too raw.

Regardless, she shakes her head.]

No, I don't think so.

I might have the advantage here since I'm used to people doing things to me "for the better." Like kidnapping me for months and wiping my memory. [Fuck Hera. But he nods.] It's never right, but…I dunno. It used to frustrate me a lot because I hate following what people want me to do but I can understand it better even if I don't like it. It still frustrates me and I still hate people who use me for their own amusement. But they could have turned on me really early and really fast, but they didn't. They were working with me.

[It's complicated, basically. But he makes a face and nods then.]

So…my dad obviously couldn't stay with my mom, so she raised me by herself for a few years until she met Gabe and married him when I was really young. Like before kindergarten I think. I used to call him Smelly Gabe for a reason because the guy reeked. Like cheap beer and cigars and sweaty gym socks. He also treated my mom like shit. Like a servant instead of being treated like a queen like she should be. [A pause.] I never realized it as a kid, but I figured out later that he used to be really aggressive with her, too. Hitting her, degrading her, stuff like that. I'm still mad I never knew until it was too late to do anything about it.

But the thing is she stayed with him because of me. Gabe's stench was powerful enough that it masked the demigod scent that was on me so it kept monsters away for a while. She put up with it for so long so that monsters wouldn't be unleashed on people that don't deserve it. And…I don't know. When I talked to Will, it sounded like a lot of the same thing. He keeps Dr. Lecter at bay so he doesn't tear down the world. A balance. He does it to protect people. Will told me that if he'd died first, Dr. Lecter would have killed all of us instead of Will just…doing what Will did.

[He shakes his head. He's still mad, regardless.] And…I don't know. Love is a weird thing. You remember how I said I wasn't sure if I'd accept or deny the Bandit job if I was asked? Or how I wanted to find Annabeth's murderer so bad at the risk of completely screwing up? Love's a good thing until it turns into obsession. I've seen what it can do to people. Will's…choosing to stay in a situation that isn't healthy, I think, but it keeps both of them happy. I can't be as mad as I want to be now that I know everything Dr. Lecter's done to him, but one of the hardest things I've learned here is that there are just some people who don't want to be saved.

I'm still mad about what happened and I still wish it hadn't happened at all. I wish this game wasn't so brutal on all of us and I won't be sorry never to see them ever again…but I also don't think it's possible for me to forget everything Will in particular has done for me. [And then, very quietly:] I've seen a lot of myself in him. It's both really grounding and horrifying.

[She listens to all of that, tries her hardest to take it in. It's... harder than it probably should be, she thinks, but she tries to incorporate this new information into her understanding of the situation.]

I'm sorry about your mom. And that you got reminded of it again, and that you saw yourself in him. If Hannibal messed him up somehow... That sucks. It does.

[There's a but implied in her tone, a slight disagreement to follow. She's never been good at handling nuance or shades of gray, she thinks, and there's one thing she keeps coming back to.

Before she starts, she pulls her knees up to her chest as if she's protecting herself.]

Will's way different than your mom, though. He didn't kill me immediately, you know. He made me walk to the lake with him first. It's about an hour away, yeah? The entire time, I was so scared I couldn't stop shaking. Even when we got there... It could have been faster. He didn't even bring his pistol, just - the knife. First he went right for my shoulder, the place that was wounded already, dragged the knife straight across my chest. I couldn't scream because I couldn't breathe, he had his arm around my neck. When he was done, he went for the throat, but even then, he just... dropped me on the ground. Stared at me while I bled out in the dirt.

[She breathes in and out, shaking her head.]

I don't - care about what he did to help. I'm glad you got help, but... I don't care what Hannibal did to him. I don't. It doesn't matter, I hate him. I hate them both so fucking much it makes me want to throw up whenever I think of them, Percy. I wish I'd never met them.

[This is where the problem lies. Loyalty. This isn't the first time his loyalties have clashed right into each other and it certainly won't be the last. He nods in response to the comment about his mother and lets that go. This isn't about her anymore. This is about…them, and Hannibal and Will and the town. The harder things he's wrestled with since he looked down and found Will's blood staining his hands. The harder things he's struggled to comprehend when he threw Will's body into the fire to let it burn and surprised himself with the sudden urge to scream and cry.

On the one hand, Natalie is one of his closest friends here. On the other hand, Will was, too. So…he shuts up to listen. Even as she talks, he finds himself subconsciously shifting closer, like a reminder that she's alive and here and he's listening and that she's safe with him.

It doesn't help that the story's horrifying, too.]

I didn't know how he did it, no. No one ever said what happened before the end result, and I never thought to ask when I immediately knew that I was going to be the one to kill him. [He listens to the description, and again, he thinks of Akhlys.

"What is this?" The goddess had shrieked. Percy felt ambivalent about it, continuing to redirect the fumes toward her.

"Poison," Percy said. "That’s your speciality, right?" His anger drove him onward as he willed the venom to retreat from him and Annabeth and attack the goddess. The fumes made her cough, her eyes watered and Percy smirked to himself as he imagined her nose and throat filling with her tears. Even as she began to gag, Percy wondered how much misery Misery could take. He wanted to choke her, watch her drown in her own poison. Even when Annabeth called him off, he couldn't get the thought out of his head.

There's a full-body shiver as he shakes himself out of his memories, focusing on the conversation again. He keeps that to himself for now.]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, that wasn't at all what I wanted for you. Or anyone? None of it. [It's not hard to imagine Natalie fighting back, Will lunging for her and torturing her in sacrifice. It's enough to make him sick and he closes his eyes.] Suppose that makes his execution all the more fitting.

[A sword to the heart, straight up to the throat.]

After this, we'll never have to see them ever again. Or think about them again. [He will, just because he can't get it out of his head yet.] I almost wish there was a way to selectively remember things for stuff like this, but that's somehow asking too much. [A pause.] Please don't throw up on me. We can leave it alone. [He's willing to back down on the subject at least. She doesn't deserve the reminder.]

Edited 2017-03-07 21:17 (UTC)

Even if you had asked him about it... When Milla got to the train, she told me that when she spoke to him while he was in the jail cell, he'd told her that he made it quick. He lied to her.

[The words are tinged with bitterness as she looks up towards the ceiling, breathing out a sigh and shaking her head.]

When he got here, I shouldn't have talked to him, I know I shouldn't have, but he seemed so - calm. Like it didn't matter to him at all, what happened, like he'd already forgotten about it and moved on. Even if we don't have to think about them...

[She knows she will, too. She has to wonder how that's fair, that Will can seem so removed from it already when she can't stop retracing those last moments over and over again in her head.

Either way, his last words get a small smile out of her, despite everything.]

I won't puke on you, promise. But, we can talk about something else, yeah.

[His jaw clenches. Of course. Of course Will had lied about that and he wonders why. Then again, the voice in the back of his head asks him again why he'd lied about having a role in this game.

'Stop making excuses.']

…we're together. It'll be fine. Whatever happens next and whatever we remember and think about, we're together and we're fine.

[In the end, Will did something wrong. It's something he'll probably talk to Will about himself if he can for his own peace of mind, but this isn't Natalie's burden right now. They should be celebrating going home, but…the game still sort of won this way, didn't it? Permanently changing people this way with pain. In the end, he knows both of them are too deeply intertwined with those two. It's why he backs down and settles for sitting up finally to properly look at her. He ponders for a moment, and though he knows the answer already he calmly asks:]

Do you know how to surf?

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