It's a rather quaint town when you get down to it. At least, that's what the Sheriff would argue. Warm and dry in the mornings and afternoons with a brisk coolness in the evenings. The perfect type of weather to just sit out on your rocking chair and observe the comings and goings.
... Of course, there's not much in the way of comings and goings when there aren't any actual people here to watch. Nevertheless, don't let that get you down! The town is your oyster and those roosters won't stop crowing until everyone's out of bed. Up and at 'em, rise and shine, it's time to make the day yours!
After all, there's nothing wrong with the town today and you might just want to savor it while it lasts.
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I mean, presumably the cow would be dead, so by the time you started to eat, it wouldn't be... Actually, no, I'm not going to consider whether you could eat a drunken cow. That's not how this night is going to go.
[She tilts her head to the side, scoffing slightly.]
How many people would be dead if he weren't here, exactly? Jesus, you guys must have had, like, the ultimate lover's spat.
[ AND YOU KNOW WHAT... PROBABLY!! But that doesn't stop Will from dropping his hands and pointing a finger at Natalie, looking quite firm about whatever he's about to say. ]
Please have absolutely better taste than me. [ WILL??? ] You deserve better.
[ He will inspire a new generation of teenagers to not go for the really hot European guy. ]
[Takes a long sip of water. Stares into the middle distance.]
Once my ex-boyfriend asked me if I wanted to smoke a bowl and jam to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star because I was trying to teach him how to play piano. He asked me out by telling me how the planet was poisoned and dying.
[ And then he blinks because he didn't really expect that sort of response from Natalie, and again he sort of bubbles with laughter for a bit. ]
Did you smoke the bowl? [ Because it's important, obviously. And, uh. Hm. ] First time I met Hannibal, he psychoanalyzed me and compared me to a serial killer so I told him to leave me alone.
Wow. Was it at least a fair comparison? Like, maybe the serial killer really liked apples and he was like, wow, Will really likes apples too! Not to the bad parts about being a serial killer.
I just mean, there's nothing wrong with that. But he's your ex now? So, whatever. I guess.
[ Will, you're awful at this. He also looks mildly insulted next. ]
I don't kill people because I'm antisocial, Natalie. And if anyone's the serial killer here, it's Hannibal. Look at his face. It screams manipulative bastard!
[ Ugh and now he feels gross teenage feelings. Don't give advice, don't give advice, don't do it -- ]
If you don't want him to be your ex, don't let him be your ex.
[ Will, that's not how it works but he has another argument to make here. HE HAS TO PROVE A POINT. ]
Being in love with Hannibal is like trying to romance the Devil. [ What the fuck. ] Exhausting and full of gaping wounds. [ What the fuck. ] I love him so much my teeth bleed from it.
[There's regret in her expression and body language, but more than that, there's a sudden anger and underlying guilt. She shakes her head sharply, frowning.]
Thanks, but I don't, not that it's any of your business.
[ -- This, of course, makes Will wince and he lifts his hands immediately to dig his palms into his eyes. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fuck empathy. ]
Calm down. Calm down. Some of us are trying to think here and your -- your shit doesn't take priority.
[ Why does Will Graham ruin everything??? ]
Oh, and he doesn't freak you out? You buy the whole European gentlefucker shtick? Bullshit, bullshit. I'd strangle him the first chance I get. With my bare god damn hands.
[ Why is he so mad suddenly??? Spoilers it's because Natalie's mad and now he can't help but feel mad too. ]
Then she takes the glass of water she was drinking and turns it over so the entire thing spills on his lap, slamming it down on the counter when she's done. It's not hard enough to break it, but there is a loud noise as it collides with the wood. It doesn't drown out her voice, though, as she speaks.]
Fuck you.
[And then she's off. Yikes.]
Edited (please remember to include relevant words, self) 2017-02-16 08:24 (UTC)
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robowest2017-02-13 12:00 pm
no subject
[She tilts her head to the side, scoffing slightly.]
How many people would be dead if he weren't here, exactly? Jesus, you guys must have had, like, the ultimate lover's spat.
no subject
[ God damnit, Will. He grins wryly at the last part, wondering what to say to that. ]
So what, he has doctor skills? So what. [ lord, will. ] He's still an ass. Made my wife leave me and everything. I miss my wife.
no subject
[Will??? As if this wasn't awkward enough thirty seconds ago.]
...I feel like you're going to regret telling me any of this later, so maybe we should talk about something else? Just a thought.
no subject
I eat whatever Hannibal cooks.
[ AND YOU KNOW WHAT... PROBABLY!! But that doesn't stop Will from dropping his hands and pointing a finger at Natalie, looking quite firm about whatever he's about to say. ]
Please have absolutely better taste than me. [ WILL??? ] You deserve better.
[ He will inspire a new generation of teenagers to not go for the really hot European guy. ]
no subject
[Takes a long sip of water. Stares into the middle distance.]
Once my ex-boyfriend asked me if I wanted to smoke a bowl and jam to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star because I was trying to teach him how to play piano. He asked me out by telling me how the planet was poisoned and dying.
[so
that's a no it's too late for her]
no subject
[ And then he blinks because he didn't really expect that sort of response from Natalie, and again he sort of bubbles with laughter for a bit. ]
Did you smoke the bowl? [ Because it's important, obviously. And, uh. Hm. ] First time I met Hannibal, he psychoanalyzed me and compared me to a serial killer so I told him to leave me alone.
no subject
[natalie for fuck's sake make better choices]
Wow. Was it at least a fair comparison? Like, maybe the serial killer really liked apples and he was like, wow, Will really likes apples too! Not to the bad parts about being a serial killer.
[that's absolutely how she's interpreting this]
no subject
[ He would've smoked the bowl!!! But as Natalie tries to excuse he, Will just grins wryly and shakes his head. ]
We're both incredibly antisocial. He thought it was apt. I thought he was an arrogant piece of shit. [ . . . ] I wasn't wrong.
no subject
[a small, sarcastic nod]
It sounds like maybe he wasn't wrong either? I mean. Just saying.
no subject
[ Will, you're awful at this. He also looks mildly insulted next. ]
I don't kill people because I'm antisocial, Natalie. And if anyone's the serial killer here, it's Hannibal. Look at his face. It screams manipulative bastard!
[ He's also started slurring again. ]
no subject
[That's all she says to the first part, because she has gross teenage feelings. Sorry, Will.
And then she just kind of scoffs.]
Yeah, if anybody's an awful person here, it's clearly Hannibal. Aren't you in love or whatever?
no subject
If you don't want him to be your ex, don't let him be your ex.
[ Will, that's not how it works but he has another argument to make here. HE HAS TO PROVE A POINT. ]
Being in love with Hannibal is like trying to romance the Devil. [ What the fuck. ] Exhausting and full of gaping wounds. [ What the fuck. ] I love him so much my teeth bleed from it.
[ WHAT THE FUCK ]
no subject
[She just kind of gives him a skeptical glance, because yeah what the fuck??]
You're really starting to freak me out, man.
[Clearly he is the weird one!!]
no subject
Your problems are probably stupid anyway. [ WILL WHY!!! WORST EMPATH ] If you love each other... who cares, go for it.
[ BUT SERIOUSLY HANNIBAL SUCKS. ]
Good. Maybe then you'll stop talking to us. Maybe everyone will finally stop talking to us and leave us alone. Otherwise... [ A shrug. ] Drunk cows.
no subject
Thanks, but I don't, not that it's any of your business.
[A raised eyebrow.]
I said you, not him.
[Hannibal did nothing wrong??]
no subject
Calm down. Calm down. Some of us are trying to think here and your -- your shit doesn't take priority.
[ Why does Will Graham ruin everything??? ]
Oh, and he doesn't freak you out? You buy the whole European gentlefucker shtick? Bullshit, bullshit. I'd strangle him the first chance I get. With my bare god damn hands.
[ Why is he so mad suddenly??? Spoilers it's because Natalie's mad and now he can't help but feel mad too. ]
no subject
Then she takes the glass of water she was drinking and turns it over so the entire thing spills on his lap, slamming it down on the counter when she's done. It's not hard enough to break it, but there is a loud noise as it collides with the wood. It doesn't drown out her voice, though, as she speaks.]
Fuck you.
[And then she's off. Yikes.]