It's a rather quaint town when you get down to it. At least, that's what the Sheriff would argue. Warm and dry in the mornings and afternoons with a brisk coolness in the evenings. The perfect type of weather to just sit out on your rocking chair and observe the comings and goings.
... Of course, there's not much in the way of comings and goings when there aren't any actual people here to watch. Nevertheless, don't let that get you down! The town is your oyster and those roosters won't stop crowing until everyone's out of bed. Up and at 'em, rise and shine, it's time to make the day yours!
After all, there's nothing wrong with the town today and you might just want to savor it while it lasts.
This post functions as the general mingle post for the week. Wanted Posters and other small events will be posted in top levels below. If there's any questions or requests, please send a PM or shoot a PP to robowest.
I'm not a kid, and you're obviously not fine. I'm definitely getting a vision from the future of you, an hour from now, face down in your own vomit. Don't be that person.
[She laughs, though, incredulous.]
Whatever, man. You're drunk.
[Clearly that's the only reason?? He could ever besmirch Hannibal's flawless name??]
Still not a kid, and you are definitely at least 75% of the way to getting drunk enough that you puke everywhere. When that inevitably happens you are totally cleaning it up yourself.
[A slow nod, and she reaches over to pat his shoulder in the most condescending way ever, with a tone of voice to match.]
Right. I totally get it, man. Lack of puns is a real killer. Maybe you should drink some water, though?
[Because that's nonsense, Hannibal isn't dead and is a fine upstanding citizen??]
[ His last ditch effort!!! Which means Will just finally ends up groaning, loudly, and pressing his face into his hands as he sinks into his chair. ]
I need more alcohol. [ He hiccups then and a laugh spills out of his mouth as he shakes his head. ] We're all -- we're all cows. Can't eat a drunk cow, right? Who'd want that? Meat -- meat would be bad.
[ Just scrubbing at his face here with both hands. At least his beard is... mostly back??? He looks less like a twink, even though the gnarly scar across his lip/cheek is still, uh, prominent. ]
Well, you can't, can you?
[ A huff and Will still feels pretty bitter. ]
He's not even that interesting. [ WELL. ] To everyone.
I mean, presumably the cow would be dead, so by the time you started to eat, it wouldn't be... Actually, no, I'm not going to consider whether you could eat a drunken cow. That's not how this night is going to go.
[She tilts her head to the side, scoffing slightly.]
How many people would be dead if he weren't here, exactly? Jesus, you guys must have had, like, the ultimate lover's spat.
[ AND YOU KNOW WHAT... PROBABLY!! But that doesn't stop Will from dropping his hands and pointing a finger at Natalie, looking quite firm about whatever he's about to say. ]
Please have absolutely better taste than me. [ WILL??? ] You deserve better.
[ He will inspire a new generation of teenagers to not go for the really hot European guy. ]
[Takes a long sip of water. Stares into the middle distance.]
Once my ex-boyfriend asked me if I wanted to smoke a bowl and jam to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star because I was trying to teach him how to play piano. He asked me out by telling me how the planet was poisoned and dying.
[ And then he blinks because he didn't really expect that sort of response from Natalie, and again he sort of bubbles with laughter for a bit. ]
Did you smoke the bowl? [ Because it's important, obviously. And, uh. Hm. ] First time I met Hannibal, he psychoanalyzed me and compared me to a serial killer so I told him to leave me alone.
Wow. Was it at least a fair comparison? Like, maybe the serial killer really liked apples and he was like, wow, Will really likes apples too! Not to the bad parts about being a serial killer.
I just mean, there's nothing wrong with that. But he's your ex now? So, whatever. I guess.
[ Will, you're awful at this. He also looks mildly insulted next. ]
I don't kill people because I'm antisocial, Natalie. And if anyone's the serial killer here, it's Hannibal. Look at his face. It screams manipulative bastard!
[ Ugh and now he feels gross teenage feelings. Don't give advice, don't give advice, don't do it -- ]
If you don't want him to be your ex, don't let him be your ex.
[ Will, that's not how it works but he has another argument to make here. HE HAS TO PROVE A POINT. ]
Being in love with Hannibal is like trying to romance the Devil. [ What the fuck. ] Exhausting and full of gaping wounds. [ What the fuck. ] I love him so much my teeth bleed from it.
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robowest2017-02-13 12:00 pm
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'M not sleepin. Here.
[ One of those napkins is getting stuck in his hair though. ]
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You want me to go get your boyfriend to take you back to your room?
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Pfft, him. No way. Nooooo way.
[ Still slurring. Still drunk. ]
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[He's almost half a foot taller than her and she's lacking an arm??]
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You don't have to take me anywhere, kid. I'm fine as I am.
[ A shrug. ]
And not him, because he's an ass. The biggest -- the biggest one here.
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[She laughs, though, incredulous.]
Whatever, man. You're drunk.
[Clearly that's the only reason?? He could ever besmirch Hannibal's flawless name??]
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You are definitely a kid. And the vomiting -- it. No. Not really?
[ WHATEVER!!! ]
Listen. Look. Hannibal... he hasn't punned since I killed us. [ jesus, will. ] Fuckin' cocksucker.
[ WILL...... ]
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[A slow nod, and she reaches over to pat his shoulder in the most condescending way ever, with a tone of voice to match.]
Right. I totally get it, man. Lack of puns is a real killer. Maybe you should drink some water, though?
[Because that's nonsense, Hannibal isn't dead and is a fine upstanding citizen??]
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I need more alcohol. [ He hiccups then and a laugh spills out of his mouth as he shakes his head. ] We're all -- we're all cows. Can't eat a drunk cow, right? Who'd want that? Meat -- meat would be bad.
[ hahahahAHAHAHAHA ]
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[Except, no. Please stop.]
More alcohol is the last thing you need. I'm cutting you off.
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Well, you can't, can you?
[ A huff and Will still feels pretty bitter. ]
He's not even that interesting. [ WELL. ] To everyone.
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[She tilts her head to the side, scoffing slightly.]
How many people would be dead if he weren't here, exactly? Jesus, you guys must have had, like, the ultimate lover's spat.
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[ God damnit, Will. He grins wryly at the last part, wondering what to say to that. ]
So what, he has doctor skills? So what. [ lord, will. ] He's still an ass. Made my wife leave me and everything. I miss my wife.
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[Will??? As if this wasn't awkward enough thirty seconds ago.]
...I feel like you're going to regret telling me any of this later, so maybe we should talk about something else? Just a thought.
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I eat whatever Hannibal cooks.
[ AND YOU KNOW WHAT... PROBABLY!! But that doesn't stop Will from dropping his hands and pointing a finger at Natalie, looking quite firm about whatever he's about to say. ]
Please have absolutely better taste than me. [ WILL??? ] You deserve better.
[ He will inspire a new generation of teenagers to not go for the really hot European guy. ]
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[Takes a long sip of water. Stares into the middle distance.]
Once my ex-boyfriend asked me if I wanted to smoke a bowl and jam to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star because I was trying to teach him how to play piano. He asked me out by telling me how the planet was poisoned and dying.
[so
that's a no it's too late for her]
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[ And then he blinks because he didn't really expect that sort of response from Natalie, and again he sort of bubbles with laughter for a bit. ]
Did you smoke the bowl? [ Because it's important, obviously. And, uh. Hm. ] First time I met Hannibal, he psychoanalyzed me and compared me to a serial killer so I told him to leave me alone.
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[natalie for fuck's sake make better choices]
Wow. Was it at least a fair comparison? Like, maybe the serial killer really liked apples and he was like, wow, Will really likes apples too! Not to the bad parts about being a serial killer.
[that's absolutely how she's interpreting this]
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[ He would've smoked the bowl!!! But as Natalie tries to excuse he, Will just grins wryly and shakes his head. ]
We're both incredibly antisocial. He thought it was apt. I thought he was an arrogant piece of shit. [ . . . ] I wasn't wrong.
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[a small, sarcastic nod]
It sounds like maybe he wasn't wrong either? I mean. Just saying.
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[ Will, you're awful at this. He also looks mildly insulted next. ]
I don't kill people because I'm antisocial, Natalie. And if anyone's the serial killer here, it's Hannibal. Look at his face. It screams manipulative bastard!
[ He's also started slurring again. ]
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[That's all she says to the first part, because she has gross teenage feelings. Sorry, Will.
And then she just kind of scoffs.]
Yeah, if anybody's an awful person here, it's clearly Hannibal. Aren't you in love or whatever?
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If you don't want him to be your ex, don't let him be your ex.
[ Will, that's not how it works but he has another argument to make here. HE HAS TO PROVE A POINT. ]
Being in love with Hannibal is like trying to romance the Devil. [ What the fuck. ] Exhausting and full of gaping wounds. [ What the fuck. ] I love him so much my teeth bleed from it.
[ WHAT THE FUCK ]
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[She just kind of gives him a skeptical glance, because yeah what the fuck??]
You're really starting to freak me out, man.
[Clearly he is the weird one!!]
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Your problems are probably stupid anyway. [ WILL WHY!!! WORST EMPATH ] If you love each other... who cares, go for it.
[ BUT SERIOUSLY HANNIBAL SUCKS. ]
Good. Maybe then you'll stop talking to us. Maybe everyone will finally stop talking to us and leave us alone. Otherwise... [ A shrug. ] Drunk cows.
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